Inner Barriers to Being Our Best
Major obstacles that hold us back from our higher potential, or entelechy, are inner barriers or inner glass ceilings. According to Dr. Claire Zammit, founder of Feminine Power and Institute for Women-Centered Coaching, Training and Leadership, the top three inner barriers for women are: I’m alone; I’m invisible; and I’m not enough.
But Zammit discovered and studied a total of 21 inner barriers of women. A few others include: I am unlovable; I don’t matter; and I’m not wanted. These inner barriers affect our behaviors, actions, habits and ways of being. Inner barriers instill patterns of behavior that define who we think we are and the erroneous stories we tell ourselves. All these patterns represent limiting self-concepts.
If someone relates to any of these concepts, they are not alone. These inner barriers block us from moving forward and achieving our deepest desires in life. Zammit also refers to these barriers as inner glass ceilings—ceilings we create on our own. One indicator that someone has the I’m alone inner barrier is they don’t ask for help or support. They take on the whole responsibility of whatever it is they are doing. Because they are capable and self-sufficient, they separate or isolate themself. They have difficulties connecting with others, especially in developing deeper relationships.
If the inner barrier is invisibility, they do not put themselves out in the world. Their attention is on others. They disappear themself. Often, they are disconnected from themself. They rely on others to see them and validate them. The erroneous expectation is that others will know how they feel or what they need without telling them. If they are an entrepreneur, this could seriously affect the success of their business. To do business with them, people must know them and know the value of what they offer.
If the inner barrier is I’m not enough, then they sacrifice themself to serve others. It is common for them to over-give. They may also feel they must do more to get the same recognition as others. They may feel they never have enough time, money, friends or love. They undervalue themselves. They may get caught up in taking more and more classes to become enough or to learn enough.
The empowering aspect of these invisible barriers is that we can identify them and break free from them. They can free themselves from the box these patterns have created in their lives. These patterns usually start in childhood, when we misinterpret something that happened to us from lack of experience. But we can create new stories and new empowering self-concepts for ourselves. They can’t make these changes alone. They need a professional that understands these inner barriers.
Contact Dr. Anne M. Deatly at 551-500-5011 or Anne.Deatly@gmail.com.
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