The “I’m Not Enough” Inner Barrier

According to Dr. Claire Zammit of the Institute of Women-Centered Coaching, the “I’m not enough” inner barrier is one of the top three inner barriers in women. Everyone has inner barriers–many have the “I’m not enough” barrier. Inner barriers are usually created in childhood through misperceiving a situation, event, or person. This misperception becomes an inner barrier, a self-limiting belief blocking us from reaching our full potential as adults. An inner barrier represents an aspect of us in a state of arrested development. Inner barriers are aspects of our subconscious minds holding us back from living a happy and fulfilled life. All inner barriers are false beliefs. Identifying internal barriers is done by eliciting what’s in our subconscious mind using powerful questions in a highly tested coaching process. Bringing the inner barrier to our conscious mind is key to disrupting and breaking through inner barriers.

If we have the “I’m not enough” inner barrier, we’re unable to empower ourselves. Instead, we look to others for empowerment, approval, and/or validation to the extent we self-sacrifice—like Cinderella with her stepmother and stepsisters. Not feeling enough leads to people pleasing. We lose ourselves in the needs of others. We chronically abandon ourselves and sacrifice our own self-care to care for others. We undervalue and underrepresent ourselves.

We operate from obligation rather than joy and fulfillment. We set nearly impossible standards of success for ourselves and others. In our minds we believe we must do more than others to have the same success and respect. We feel burdened by too many responsibilities–because we’ve overcommitted our time, personal resources, and energy for approval. By overcommitting to tasks we couldn’t possibly do, we gather more evidence that we’re not enough.

Paradoxically, our giving is from scarcity, lack and disconnection. We lack time, money, or love. Over giving results in never feeling satisfied as we’re focused on other’s happiness. In fact, we even take responsibility for other’s happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction. Like Cinderella, we believe we exist to please others.

Because we’re nobly generous in giving freely and excessively, we provide abundance for others. Ironically, to help others at such a generous extent, we develop a variety of useful skills and talents, and we’re good at many things. We exemplify being good enough and empowered. Nonetheless, we believe “I’m not enough.” We often respond with self-demeaning comments especially when we’re being praised and congratulated by others.

With the characteristics of “I’m not enough”, E Quantum Breakthroughs (EQB) helps you shift from grasping outside yourself for approval, validation and people pleasing by helping you connect to your empowered self to contribute to others and create real value. EQB helps people with the “I’m not enough” inner barrier to deeply value their happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction to prioritize their own well-being in life. If anyone wants to disrupt this subconscious pattern and show up empowered and valued in life, please contact me at anne.deatly@gmail.com or 201-925-1046.