Raising Children To Be Thankful: Benefits of Feeling and Expressing Appreciation

American adults are feeling increasingly troubled. According to a 2024 American Psychiatric Association poll, approximately 43 percent of respondents say they are more anxious now than in previous years (up from 32 percent in 2022), with current events like the economy, elections and gun violence driving 70 percent of worries.

As is often the case, children can be affected by the emotional state of adults in their lives. A 2022 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders reported that children of anxious parents are at higher risk of developing anxiety disorders and twice as likely to have anxiety problems than children of non-anxious parents.

To mitigate this trend, parents, guardians and teachers have a powerful tool at their disposal: gratitude. By championing, modeling and encouraging a grateful heart, they can teach kids to temper episodes of anxiety and regain a sense of safety.

Benefits of Gratitude

“Gratitude is one of these micro-behaviors that creates macro-change,” says Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a Connecticut-based certified school psychologist, neurofeedback provider, author, speaker and podcast host specializing in childhood mental health. “When we have gratitude, there are a lot of overall benefits to our health. Research has shown that gratitude can trigger the brain to release hormones and neurotransmitters that are associated with happiness, such as dopamine and serotonin. Having a gratitude practice as a family can even break negative patterns in the family ecosystem, moving toward generational mental wealth.”

“Humans are hardwired to notice and acknowledge negative experiences due to our natural instinct for survival, but we can overcome our negative biases by incorporating gratitude into our daily routines,” says Andrea Trank, an integrative medicine health coach, HeartMath trainer and trauma-sensitive practitioner in Norfolk, Virginia. “We can shift from feelings of sadness, anxiety and anger to feelings of hope and calm simply by focusing on what we are grateful for. Gratitude also supports immune health, helps us respond, rather than react, to life’s stressors, and shifts the rhythm of the heart into physiological coherence, resulting in the release of oxytocin and DHEA [dehydroepiandrosterone], which promote positive feelings.”

Modeling Gratitude

One of the most effective ways to teach children to be grateful is to express our own gratitude with actions and words. “Forcing our children to be grateful doesn’t work. Model gratitude in a natural and authentic way,” Trank advises. “Notice the little things, and when you are out as a family, slow down and verbally point out the moments of beauty and generosity you see around you. Showing gratitude through action is the way your child will naturally be inspired to do the same.”

Practicing gratitude as a family can be fun, and it’s a great way to connect deeply with one another. Invite everyone around the dinner table to identify the things for which they are grateful or reflect on moments of gratitude that they witnessed throughout the day. Such positive conversations help develop optimistic outlooks for the whole family. Make it a routine for each family member to simply say “Thank you” upon waking, and to jot down thoughts of gratitude in a journal before the lights go off at the end of the day.

The Thank-You Note

Handwritten thank-you notes are being replaced by texts, emails and emojis as a means of expressing gratitude, but if parents encourage their daughters and sons to see the value of a written note at a young age, this worthwhile activity can become second-nature for a child. While it takes a little more time than composing a text, scribing a thoughtful and meaningful message that expresses gratitude can be read over and over again and reminds the recipient that they matter. When we receive gratitude from others, we are accepting a gift that strengthens the bonds of connection.

Research in 2018 published in Psychological Science points out that people underestimate the power of expressing gratitude and overestimate how awkward it will be, which may keep them from engaging in this impactful practice. This Thanksgiving, embrace the power of gratitude and share it with the next generation to make a positive impact on everyone’s mental health.

Christina Connors is a writer, singer and creator of a YouTube series for children. Learn more at ChristinasCottage444.com.