Secrets to a Joyful Childhood: Building a Family That Laughs and Loves Together

There are no sweeter sounds than the giggles of a child playing with a puppy or the giddy singing voice of a little one at bedtime. When these life-affirming moments are consistent and shared among a family, such heartfelt and abiding contentment can be considered a type of joy that becomes second nature, impacting children in enduring ways.

“Joy is the building block for developing resilience, improving mental health and supporting cognitive performance,” says Dr. Chanie Messinger, a Brooklyn-based occupational therapist, educator and motivational speaker. “It’s important to remember that our ability to experience joy is directly dependent upon our ability to be open to experiencing all the rainbow of emotions, including sadness, anger and frustration. To me, creating a joyful home means that, as a family, we practice accepting and holding all of our emotions through joyful play, deep connection and creativity.”

“Everything starts in the home, and our kids take their cues from their parents and caregivers,” says Harmony Longenecker, founder of The Classical Academy of Sarasota, in Florida, a private pre-kindergarten through 12th-grade classical liberal arts school. “It is important to model for our kids how to be grateful, generous and joyful, and doing things together as a family fosters those qualities.”

A systematic review of research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Healthsuggests that positive family dynamics like cohesion and communication strongly predict the happiness of children and adolescents. Here are some ways to incorporate joy in the home to benefit the whole family.

Reduce smartphone use. Children thrive whenever their parents and other family members are fully present in their lives. When spending time together, it is vital to remove distractions as a way of enabling and deepening the connection to one another. Eliminating or reducing smartphone use during family time is an important first step. To learn more, Longenecker recommends reading The Opt-Out Family: How to Give Your Kids What Technology Can’t, by Erin Loechner.

Champion a gratitude jar. Encourage everyone to write down what they are thankful for on pieces of paper and drop them into a large jar. Once a week, invite each family member to pull out a gratitude note and share it with the group, encouraging discussion.

Have a family dance party. “Moving our bodies is a great way to release tension and boost serotonin,” says Messinger. For added fun, stop the music every so often and have everyone freeze in place in outlandish positions that represent an emotion. Family members then take turns guessing what the emotions are. Is it boredom, anger, glee, frustration or anticipation? This enjoyable game can improve the emotional intelligence of children.

Engage in a child’s favorite activity. Plan an afternoon or day trip around a child’s passions, which could be attending a car race for the auto enthusiast, painting outdoors for the child artist or having a family fashion show for the budding clothing designer. “Tapping into what our kids appreciate and noticing what lights them up is how we can create feelings of safety and joy,” says Messinger.

Hold recurring family meetings. At the beginning of each season, sit down together and set family goals for the quarter, making sure to include both thoughtful intentions and fun activities. “Communication and setting intentions regularly as a family is not only a fun way to spend time together, but also opens up conversations about the power of setting intentions and following through,” says Longenecker.

Get moving outdoors together. Go for a family bike ride. Take a walk in nature. Visit the zoo. Exercising in the sunshine or under a sparkling night sky is not only great for everyone’s health, but also a fun way to bond and make special memories.

Keep a tidy household. A well-ordered home is a joyful one. Make chores fun by playing music while decorating, cooking, cleaning or doing laundry together.

Develop a family manifesto. Jointly write down a code of conduct and set of beliefs that identifies the family. “Getting clear on who we are as individuals and as a family helps our kids know their true selves. By helping them develop this inner knowing, it will help them navigate the world with confidence and be less likely to succumb to unhealthy peer pressure,” says Longenecker.

Hit the reset button. “Oftentimes being crabby is a habit,” says Longenecker. “Establish a rule: When a family member wakes up crabby, they must return to their room and take a few moments of alone-time to breathe and decide to shift their emotional state to a more positive one. If there are feelings that need to be seen and heard, be sure to help them express those emotions through conversation and cuddling.”

Practice radical generosity. The act of giving is healthy for the soul. A beautiful way to practice generosity as a family is to serve together. Volunteer at a local charity, or pay for a stranger’s meal at a restaurant. Such acts of kindness strengthen our empathy muscles and fill our spirits with joy.

Christina Connors is a writer, singer and creator of Christina’s Cottage, a YouTube series to strengthen kids’ resilience, connection and joy through music, mindful play and the power of the heart. Learn more at ChristinasCottage444.com.